Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Sunday Sermon Notes 1.17.10

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you:
compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline.
Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.
Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.
And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.
It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other.
None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness.
Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house.
Give it plenty of room in your lives.
Instruct and direct one another using good common sense.
And sing, sing your hearts out to God!
Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way
Colossians 3v12-17

When it comes to the differences between men and women, instead of it being a point of celebration, it's often fuel for stereotyping. The differences become obscured and become a source of confinement rather than a catalyst for more creative and beneficial work. Thus it is common to assign traits to men or women that are really gender-neutral. And, by over-focusing on gender-differences, we neglect the more important work of how to getting in tune with each other, how to stay in step with each other.

...we're one, but we're not the same,
we've got to carry each other...

Opposites attract - we know that. We also know that opposites can annoy. Similarities in people can be a point of solidarity, but also a source of clashes. When it comes to relationships between men and women - whether in the workplace, school, church, or at home - we can't take gender issues out of the equation, but when it comes to relationships, gender is a factor. Especially when it comes to communication - always an essential component of healthy relationships.

Thinking and talking are partly a function of the brain, and when it comes to what makes people different, it can be helpful to explore what makes left-brained and right-brained people different. Interestingly, women are able to use their whole-brain much more easily then men. Male brains are bigger, but have less connectors between the two halves; female brains have an over-abundance of connectors, allowing them to use left and right brain functions when it comes to communication in particular.

What's interesting with the list below is that it includes traits that often get attached to gender issues, but in fact are primarily a brain-function.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS  -----  RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic .............................................................  uses feeling

detail oriented
  ......................................  "big picture" oriented
facts rule
  ....................................................   
imagination rules
words and language 
 ................................  symbols and images
present and past  .........................................  present and future
math and science ...............................  philosophy and religion
can comprehend
  .............................   can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
knowing
 ...............................................................  believes
acknowledges
  .......................................................   appreciates
order/pattern perception ..............................  spatial perception
knows object name
  .............................   knows object function
reality based .......................................................  fantasy based
forms strategies  .......................................  presents possibilities
practical  .............................................................  impetuous
safe .....................................................................  risk taking

Here's a brief assignment: make a choice on which list best describes your behavior. This will reveal to you whether you operate primarily out of your right brain or left brain when it comes to choices, communication, completing tasks and involvement in relationships.

Second brief assignment: who are the top ten or fifteen or twenty people in your life at home, school, work, church, etc who influence you, who affect you, or for whom you are responsible for, have authority over, etc. Mark down which side of the brain they tend to operate out of.

As you compare and contrast the different important people in your life in regard to right brain and left brain tendencies, does this help explain some situations, some conflicts, some attractions, some experiences?

* How does this knowledge help create new possibilities for improving some male/female relationships in your life?

* What are some differences between males/female relationships that you can better appreciate?

* How does this knowledge help you develop a new strategy for how you will improve some of the male/female relationships in your life at home, at work, at school, at church, etc.?

* What’s a practical step you can take this week, based on your new knowledge, that will help improve your male/female relationships?

The goal of all this analysis and reflection and changing is to let the peace of Jesus Christ rule in our hearts and homes. It is really hard work to be in tune with all the influential people in our life. The closer we work with someone, the more we rely on someone, the more expectations we have for someone, the harder it is to stay in step. So, we must keep working, keep learning, keep maturing, keep listening, keep realigning our walk with the way of Jesus - the way of peace.

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