It is just after 6am and I just finished my readings for last week and for today. I had about five chapters to read, so not much...but what I did read this morning is bothering me. Earlier in the week I read the assigned chapters for Genesis, except the last chapter - 27. It is the story of Jacob decieving Esau. I just couldn't bring myself to read it earlier in the week...I hate that story. Maybe it is because I'm an older brother like Esau, maybe it is because I know I can be like Jacob. I'm bothered by the brazen deceptiveness of Rebekah, the mother. I pity Isaac, being played as a fool by his wife and son. My heart was bothered by the violent reaction of both Isaac and Esau when they discovered they were tricked, and I felt sorrow for Esau as he begged for a blessing. Even now, as I write, I find myself sighing in annoyance at Rebekah and Jacob...and God. What kind of God uses people like this to accomplish his holy and sovereign plan? This isn't how the story is supposed to go? God is only supposed to use people like...um...uh...hmmm.....well all I know is that the story still bothers me. Did it bother you?
Job's speech in chapter 3 bothered me...what graphic poetic language describing his disgust at the day he was born...
Psalm 10 bothered me...here is a man praying on behalf of the oppressed, the orphans, the widows, the innocent, the cheated, the victims of abuse and injustice...and his prayers question God...question his availability, his goodness, his power. And yet the Psalm ends with the poet affirming God's coming vengeance on the wicked. What bothered me was this: when's the last time I prayed for the people this man prayed for with this man's passion and urgency and sincerity? I know when the last time I prayed for myself like that...but for those kind of people? I'm bothered by my callous heart...(Here again I am bothered with something about me....someday soon I'll be bothered on behalf of other people....someday...).
I was disturbed by God's Word...were you?