The kids are blessed to have family watch them four days a week while Tara and I are at work. Today my aunt Shirley and Faye were playing with the kids. Lately they have been bringing their little tub of Legos for the kids to play with. For months Faye has been suggesting that I get down my big huge tub of Legos from the attic. So today I found them. It was rather nostalgic.
While looking for my container of Legos, I found a tub of trophies. My mother has saved all of them, my little soccer trophies from my elementary days, my attendance and grade trophies from middle school, and so on. The thought crossed my mind: I wish they gave trophies to pastors. That way the pastor would know whether he was doing a good enough job. Then I could have a wall of trophies to remind me that I was doing a good job. And then I realized how pathetic that thought was.
There is something inherently wrong with a pastor wanting trophies to mark his success. I thought about how much I enjoyed getting trophies...as a kid. Now that I'm not a kid anymore, life isn't as simple. If I'm honest, I don't want it simple. And I'm not sure I want my life reduced to being measured by how many trophies I've attained. Life is messy. Love is messy. Legos are messy. And fun.
I don't want a trophy for playing Legos with Levi and Isaac. I don't want a trophy for dancing with Emma. I don't want to get a trophy for being loyal and loving to my wife. I don't want a trophy for leading Anchor. I do want to know that God is pleased with me, pleased with me because of all the joy that others get from my life. Especially by playing Legos.